Page Index
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Goblin dildo
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Gnome dildo
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Elf dildo
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Elf tattoo dildo
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Human dildo
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Dwarf dildo
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Ork dildo
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Troll dildo
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Dildos
Dildos, the most ubiquitous sex toy ever. Mostly shaped like a penis. Come in all kind of designs. Humans, animals, whatever. Perfect to quench sexual apetite.
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In the Stone Age a hard dildo
Sticking to human history, the presence of sex toys have been traced to several tenths of thousand years ago. Because, when you start worshipping fertility, you can easily end sticking a stone dildo into your ass.
Within all possible sex toys, the dildo is the most ancient manufactured one for several reasons. First of all it is easy to imagine, describe and carve; as it has a fairly simple shape in comparison with a vulva (the real one, not the just-a-V-with-a-vertical-line one). Second, men have been showing how much they suck at sex since ever and, while you can easily masturbate with your hands, there are things more complicated (insertion) which become very easy when you hold a dildo. When a woman partner is not available, a dildo helps.
There are many examples of very old dildos. Always made either from rocks or bones (siltstone, chalk, deer horns, mammoth teeth, etc.). However, when it comes to exact dating of ancient reliquiae, there are some small problems such as the lack of interest in dating dildos or the lack of resources to deeply analyse any dildo archaeologists got in their hands. I seriously think that this must be their top priority, we already know enough about dinosaurs by now.
To be honest, we can’t be sure that they are actual dildos and not, as we suggest before, just objects to worship but, we can be really sure they are. We should not be shy with the history, we are and we were far away from ideal, magical pure creatures. No, no, no, we love masturbation.
All these ancient dildos are characterized by a phallic shape, very smooth polished edges and plenty of decoration. Decorative motives are usually carved on the surface and include some of the following topics: human details (foreskin, urethra), real decoration (tattoos, piercings), obvious suggestions (a penis, seriously, more than one draw a penis onto a dildo) or fantastic motives (such a bear licking a penis, that’s weird, we know).
Even at that time, humans were employing many materials to create tools. Dildos from both mineral or animal origin have reached to us: chalk, siltstone, antler, ivory, bone, etc.
And there are so many that it’s difficult to compile all of them. As it is impossible to us to have access and read everything that have been written about dildos. To give a hint about our most remote past, the most ancient dildos can be some of the following:
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Dildos in the Classical Era: from Greece to China
Directly coming from the ancient Greek, the knowledge of two kind of quite weird dildos (olisbos) reach to us. Unfortunately, both were made in materials that decompose quickly and no physical examples reach to us. But fortunately, old Greeks painted all kind of stuff in vases and wrote about everything they though so, we have proves that these existed. It is funny to note that, while ancient aesthetics despite young men with small penis as desirable, dildo representations are always long and big as hell.
At some point humans become experts in the manipulation of leather and, one of the things they realized was that dildos can also be done with it. So it was done, and they become very popular in the Greco-Roman times all around the Mediterranean world.
Then we have the olisbokollikes, literally meaning penis-coriaceous-made-of-loaf-of-bread so, a bread dildos. Is this a real thing? Probably not, just an ancient joke we cannot get.
Meanwhile, in another side of the world, Chinese emperors enjoy the magnificence of handcrafted dildos from bronze and all kind of beautiful rocks: jade, obsidian, turquoise or quartz. As all oriental art, dildos were finely carved with plenty of decoration. Of course, the richer you were the bigger and nicer were your dildos.
Honestly, old Chinese had multiple kind of sex toys: including cock rings and butt plugs. Some of them, probably, with medical or practical or spiritual objective, not merely sexual. Quartz dildos, for instance, could allow vagina exploration; while, butt plugs, on the other hand, could help to avoid post-death defecation. Cock rings, however, were totally enhancers for sex.
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Welcome to the future!
And nowadays we can enjoy with all kind of (safe) materials and shapes. Glass, silicone, wood, stone, whatever is available con be dildo-shaped; obviously, to be used. And about the shape? It is not only a boring penis but bigger, not at all. There all king of imaginative people outside expressing all kind of things into dildos: animals, plants and even tools, there is no limit.
Love Smiths' Dildos
Our selection includes several fantastic creatures and increase every now and then. We currently have seven races of the people-kind (humanoids) and one shape-shifter.
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Goblin
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Gnome
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Elf and Tattoed Elf
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Human
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Dwarf
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Ork
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Troll
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Werewolf